i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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