Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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