I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
