We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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