Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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