you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
