Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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