she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you mean i was at the winter classic?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
