after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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