so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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