im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
