i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
