i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
