Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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