I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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