Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
