i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
