Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
