It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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