i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Randomize
