her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
