eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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