Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
