I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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