It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
