Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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