So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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