so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Someone came in the potted fern
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
