Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
