YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
