She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
