Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
