Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize