you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
