john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
