I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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