We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
