In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize