Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
