I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
