Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
