i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
