those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
There was a lot of him and a little penis
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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