umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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