Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
