a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
If its not for food we ain't going out.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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