Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
