And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
