therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
