I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
