wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
my nose is crying tears of wow.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
