so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
