I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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