I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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