Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
