I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
