Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
