listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize