My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
