I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
