No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
