Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
please come you make the beer taste better
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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