Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
