I am full of burrito and curiosity
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
you're hired as official boob wrangler
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
